And Now…A Little Sunshine…

I don’t really have anything to post about writing today.  It’s been a slightly slow week as one story is on break and I’m plotting another.  Okay, maybe it’s a little weird to say plotting is a slow activity.  It’s slow on the writing front, but fast and intense on the brain-meats.

So I guess today I have little in the way of literary pearls of wisdom…

…but I do have an observation about crappy soap operas.  Oh, yes.  I do.  Don’t snicker.  Soap operas are a great way to learn what NOT to do in storytelling.

So there I am cooking up lunch, and the TV is on in the kitchen.  And General Hospital was on.  I’ve caught a little of the show while channel surfing before, so I’ve gathered enough to assume a few things:

  • There is no hospital, just rich people with problems.
  • If a character has a thick, phony German accent, she’s evil.
  • Apparently, you’re still allowed to breathe if you’re dead.
  • While we’re at it, you can blink while laying in the casket at your own funeral too.
  • There is no hospital.
  • Everyone’s screwing someone.
  • Everyone’s cheating on someone.
  • There is no hospital.
  • Even little kids can be scheming sons of bitches.

Sorry, folks.  I know Wayne Gretsky and Rick Springfield are fans, but yikes!  You could bit into the melodrama and think concrete were as soft as butter.

Here’s what I don’t understand, and I’m hoping someone out there might be able to answer: why do melodramas stay on the air for so long?  As the World Turns and All My Children have gone, but what makes shows like Days of Our Lives or General Hospital go on for almost half a century?

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